Home Read What's New Join
My Account Login

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge



how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level


submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners

Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Cross (as in the Cross of Christ) (08/17/06)

TITLE: A Wretch Like Me
By April Bailey


Abercrombie Murdock was in the habit of branding his slaves, to ensure no one mistook his property for their own. I had, at one time, looked upon Mr. Murdock as a man of high standing, the model of genteel society and pillar of our faith-centered community. It seemed no matter of concern to any of us, I’m ashamed to say, that he could so fervently praise God at church and return home to sell child from mother or stripe the back of a reclaimed runaway. “They aren’t like us. More animal than human,” he’d often say about the slaves.

I stand without excuse for holding Murdock in such high regard except to say I’d similarly been stricken with the diseases of arrogance and ignorance, remedy for which came in the guise of a slave—a man—named Tobias. One of Murdock’s largest males, Tobias worked the cotton fields with nary a word to the embodied, for he spent his days in searing heat singing whispered worship to the heavens.

Murdock’s daughter Clara often walked among the slaves picking crop, sounds of praise propelling the rhythm of work. “Coloreds can’t worship the Lord, can they, Papa?”

“No, Clara, they haven’t the capacity; their hymns are mere mimicry. Coloreds know nothing of the cross of Christ.” Murdock spoke these words in my presence, and I believed them. Until …

The heat of summer scorched man and land alike, leaving both brittle and parched. It was no surprise when the stables went up in a blaze that spread without mercy. Shouts from witnesses set us all running, and I glimpsed the back of Tobias as he raced inside among the flames. Frantic horses emerged and I found myself rushing in to help free the last of them.

Navigating a maze of fire, I joined Tobias at a stall where a magnificent stallion reared and kicked. Tobias slid in around the horse, and I followed on the opposite side, guiding the beast from behind. We yelled above the roaring inferno and pushed until the animal ran for the door, his flailing and hungry flames felling beams that blocked our escape. Standing together in the stall, heat and smoke closing in, we circled, looking for a way out. Three sides offered no hope of liberation; the fourth, a substantial exterior wall upon which we pounded uselessly. Splintering wood cracked and snapped, sending fiery chunks raining down upon us, tearing clothing, scorching skin. We were trapped.

With the realization of imminent mortality setting in, I pulled a kerchief to cover my mouth and nose. Tobias, reciting the Lord’s Prayer, lowered himself through growing haze and sat, patting out patches of burning hay around him.

“What are you doing, boy?” I coughed. “We’ve got to find a way out!”

Tobias laid a large fist to the wall, proving once again its superior construction. As my panic grew, I heard words of Amazing Grace from Tobias.

Anger flashed in me. “Stop singing! I shall not die with your mockery in my ears!”

His voiced pierced the growing darkness. “What we got now ‘sides praise?”

“And what do you know of God, slave?!!”

Tobias’ shadowy figure rose. “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

In the presence of perceived blasphemy, I shoved the big man and he stumbled backward, his foot splitting a piece of board low on the wall. We exchanged a quick look and dropped to our backs, kicking wildly until a small section opened. Without words, Tobias rose and pushed me through into night air. Gulping to flush my burning lungs of soot, I turned and continued pounding from outside, but it was too late. Rescuers dragged me from the crumbling structure, smoke billowing from the hole, sealing Tobias’ fate.

Once retrieved, Tobias’ body was placed on the ground, laying bare his marked area. Murdock branded his human property in the hind quarters, like the rest of his cattle. Conflicted about the hulking heap that gave his life to save mine, I surveyed Tobias’ smattering of burns, including one that clearly covered Murdock’s mark. The cross of Christ appeared on slave flesh—the mark of Jesus concealing the brand of man, and leaving no question in my mind … Tobias belonged to God.

[Galations 2:20 KJV]

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.

This article has been read 950 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Steve Uppendahl08/24/06
Wow. A truly powerful piece of writing. I like how the reader doesn't know the narrator's name. I think it speaks about how the narrator can be any of us.

Wonderful story.
Charles Salmon08/25/06
A beautiful story. Makes a powerful point. I just wish the title were somehow more expressive of the content. Mmaybe something like "His life for Mine" or "A Crucified Slave." Just a minor point and purely a matter of opinion.
Beautiful story!
Lynda Schultz 08/25/06
A powerful story. Great work.
Marilyn Schnepp 08/27/06
An honest critique would be that the interesting part came too late; the first part being rather blase' and mundane - but then the story of the fire! Then it became a great story, and the ending was super! I might have missed the good part because I had almost turned the page. but just one persons opinion.
Great story.
Ann FitzHenry08/29/06
I really liked this! I think it's a wonderful story. It's a very powerful tale of one man's faith. Your writing left me a lot to think about. Thanks!
Birdie Courtright08/31/06
Congrats! This is an awesome story, loved your witer's voice!
Betsy Markman08/31/06
Very good story. I found it interesting from the very first word.
Joanne Sher 08/31/06
So well done and gripping! Congratulations on your win!!
Bonnie Derksen08/31/06
This is an incredible story. Very well written and deserving of your win. Congratulations!
Val Clark09/01/06
A faced paced story that had my attention from the beginning to the end! Great final image. A well deserved win!
Karen Treharne09/05/06
Awesome story, April, and a well-deserved win. Your words were written with purpose and forgiveness reminding us why arrogance is not a fruit of the Spirit. God's word is for all and all who believe are brothers and sisters in Christ. Thank you for blessing us with your entry.