The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/25/06
This is a very good story; one's heart aches for this young lady.

A few quibbles: an unnecessary apostrophe in "days" and a run-on sentence or two. And I think your best ending sentence is the next-to-last.

But, oh! How I long to know if she ever reunites with her parents! Great tension in this piece!
08/27/06
A very well written story of dispair, the cross, and forgiveness. I liked it. Thanks for sharing it with us.
08/30/06
Very nice story. Aside from a few small items, this is a very well-written story and communicated very well. Good work! :)