The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/21/06
Great description here - but I must admit that I had trouble following it, especially at the end - but it may ahve just been me! You also had some grammar and punctuation problems - a little polishing, it seems, is all it needs in that regard!
08/22/06
I had trouble following it too. Had me all set up to find out why they should keep their windows closed. I could see why at the end, but didn't understand why.