The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
08/17/06
Nicely done, has a hint of truth to it. I like the skipping stones comparison - can you see if Jesus had skipped on the water instead of just walking! Thanks for sharing.
How nice that Susan could share her "bliss" with a vulnerable, hurting niece. Such relationships are often lifesavers for children in difficult family situations. Nice story!
This works well with the short length. A nostalgic piece well written. Lovely!
08/21/06
Lovely and warm. Liked it.
08/22/06
A sweet story that is not overdone, and good character development even in such a short time.

The past tense of wind is wound, not winded when you're talking about movement. You get winded when you run and get out of breath.

Overall a good story.
08/23/06
Such a lovely story! I really enjoyed this - the characterization is wonderful.