“The bear went over the mountain. The bear went over the mountain. The bear went over the mountain! To see what he could see” echoed joyful preschoolers each one trying to sing louder than the other.
Clarissa smiled joining in their song and watched how some of the kids instinctively raised up on their tiptoes as the bear was going over the mountain and dropped down into an unseen valley when the bear was seeing what he could see.
“There’s just something about valleys.” Clarissa thought ruefully. She let her mind wander over the last few months. Being a preschool teacher had been wonderful in so many ways, but knowing that she and Kyle were struggling to have a child of their own made a day around so many energetic little lives contrast bleakly with their childless home.
“Kyle, I’m pregnant!” Clarissa remembered how in October she had shared her excitement by waving a home pregnancy test, squealing and dancing around her husband. Kyle had picked her up, swung her around and together they called all of their friends and family. “Finally!” “Yes, we’re pregnant!” “We’re due in…goodness I don’t know when we’re due!”
Then the pain, the bleeding and then the nothing. Just another bottom-up view to another huge mountain the two of them would climb together.
It was a bear of a task climbing that mountain again and again, with no vision and view of new life in sight. Just the nothing.
Clarissa heard one little voice ask her if they could sing the song again. She focused her thoughts back on her preschoolers, 2 year olds and 3 year olds, all full of life and love. They wanted nothing more than to please her and see her smile and with the applause she gave them, they fell in love with her even more.
“That’s a wonderful idea, Aaron. Would you like to lead the class in the song?” Clarissa smiled at the charming little fellow, who always seemed to be coordinating and commanding, a tiny little executive in preschooler’s world.
As Aaron lifted his hands to begin waving them side to side in offbeat rhythm, belting out the story of a bear, a mountain and a view beyond a valley, Clarissa felt a deep sense of peace about her currently empty belly.
“This isn’t the end, is it God?” She prayed to herself as her bunch of kids sang “The Bear Went over the Mountain”
She smiled when they got to the part “to see what he could see, to see what he could see.”
“I’ll just have to wait and see what you can see, God.” Clarissa prayed as she joined in the last part of the song.
To see what He could see. To see what He could see.
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