The Official Writing Challenge
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08/12/06
A beautiful story. I would have liked a more definite ending -- it left me wondering. The dialogue is great -- perfectly written to capture the reader and place us right there on the scene. Well done! :)
08/14/06
Great job! I loved the ending even though I was hoping she would get better but your way was the better way. I was impressed with the show not tell. Good writing.
08/14/06
So did you research this condition? All those long, doctor-ish words in the beginning. I'll take your word for it LOL. I liked how you showed the faith of a child, even when the adult is wavering. Aside from a couple of typos, it was a nice story. Well done.
A beautiful story with a sad but oh so true ending. Great work on the topic!
08/14/06
A sad ending, but an encouraging read nonetheless.
08/14/06
A beautiful story. I too was hoping the ending would be different, but agree that this ending is probably the better of the two.
08/14/06
A touching story - good characters.
08/14/06
Not the ending I expected, but so much more powerful this way. Nicely done - good flow.
08/14/06
I like this a lot, and I'm glad you didn't give it the pat ending...very realistically portrayed struggles. Good job!
08/14/06
Wonderful, touching story, with great dialog. Excellent job. The mother struggled with her heart vision while the daughter struggled with her actual vision. Great interplay between the two aspects of vision. Blessings!
08/14/06
Nicely done. I appreciated the fact that the outcome of the girl's situation was not perfectly tied up in the end. Life often throws us curve balls and it was very realistic. :)
08/15/06
Oh man - this touched me in a way you likely can't even imagine! The feelings and reactions and all that are SO realistic and true, and this truly ministered to me. Life is so like this sometimes, but with the Lord there, we can see even without sight! Thanks for helping me see in a new way that I am not alone. :)
This is sad but very realistic. It hit me hard since I have a friend (now in her 30's) who had a similar experience and is totally blind...but is a public school teacher and claims this same vision for her life: "It’ll be okay. I don’t need my vision to appreciate God’s glory.” Bravo. Well-told!


So...did you do a lot of research or did you make up those big doctor words? :o)

Good writing. Very good dialogue. Kept my attention all the way through. Sure would like to know what happens next.

God Bless.
08/16/06
This is a great story that is very well written and an example of wonderful dialogue. Even though this story did not have a "happy" ending, it did have a satisfying ending. I could have enjoyed either outcome as long as it was handled in a realistic way. Another possible ending that I would have enjoyed is having Lizzy stop the doctor just before he shined the light into her eyes and have Lizzy turn to her mom and tell her that either way "It'll be okay..."