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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Vision (08/03/06)

TITLE: Lemonade Stand
By
08/08/06


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“Mom! Mom! Where are you?”

Two small children rushed into the kitchen trying to locate their mother. Judy Lewis heard them from the dining room, so came to see what the emergency was.

“Hold on you two. What’s going on?”

“Mom,” said Bree, her six year old. “Can we have a lemonade stand?”

“Yeah, Mom, we want to sell lemonade!” Brandon, the four-year-old, shouted, he was so excited.

Judy quizzed them. “What made you think of that?’

“Well, I heard some kids in school talking about it. Sounded like fun. And you get lots of money.”

Brandon chimed in, “We’ll get rich.”

“Well,” Judy smiled at them, “I don’t know that you’ll get rich today, but it’s a start. Let’s give it a try. But you might not have many customers.”

“Why?” they asked in unison.

“Because we don’t live on a busy street.” Seeing their crestfallen faces, she felt bad for dashing their dream of wealth. So she quickly added “But I think it’s a fine idea. OK, here’s what we need to do…”

A little while later, two young children sat behind their lemonade stand. The card table was covered with a red-and-white tablecloth. Three small stacks of white cups sat in front of them. A large cooler sat on the ground holding the lemonade and ice. A large sign advertising their drink was propped up against the table.

“This is great mom. Its just how I had it pictured in my mind,” said Bree.

Judy smiled at her and then set up her own chair closer to the house, She watched her two enterprising children. Their controlled eagerness was such a sight to see and Judy silently prayed for someone to drive by or walk by to buy their wares.

And they waited.

“Mom?”

“Yes, Bree.”

“Is it okay to pray for customers?”

“Yes, I think that would be okay.”


They all heard the door open across the street. It was Mrs. Thompson. “Click click click” went her high heels on the sidewalk trotted across the street.

“What have we here?” she asked in mocked surprise.

“Lemonade!”

“I would like to buy a glass, please.” Brandon carefully measured out the ice and Bree poured the liquid. Mrs. Thompson handed over a coin. Waving hello to Judy, Mrs. Thompson trotted ”click click click” back to her house.

Brandon ran over to her, “Look, Mommy, look. We got money.”

“That’s wonderful. You’re a good businessman, Brandon.”

Brandon looked puzzled. Then he smiled and went back to Bree. “Mommy says I’m a good busy man. Maybe you’re a good busy women.”


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Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 08/10/06
How cute! And when Mrs. Thompson handed him a coin, I'll bet that Brandon felt "rich."
Gary Sims08/12/06
Other than a cute comment by the child, this story didn't take me anywhere unexpected. Which means it didn't grow, entertain, or teach the me anything new. I'm also scratching my head at how it relates to the theme word - vision.
Marilyn Schnepp 08/13/06
Cute story, but I'm with Gary; sorry, I see no Vision or Message. Nice writing however.
geoff anderson09/05/06
This is indeed well written. The enthusiasm of the children is never twee or overly cute but quite realistic and the mother's responses are perfectly balanced between wanting to encourage but wishing to inject a bit of adult realism into their vision.

And yes, they do have a vision. Okay, it's not a spiritual vision. In fact, it's a vision of material wealth, of the kind that maybe Donald Trump had when he was a child.

The children refer to their vision when one of them says:
"It's just how I had it pictured in my mind!"

The rules of the Challenge say that the writing doesn't have to have specifically Christian content (but obviously neither should any character be blasphemous, etc).

Neither, in my opinion, though it doesn't say this in the rules either way, does every piece of writing have to have a 'message' of the preaching kind. It is enough sometimes that an article paints a picture of normal, happy, positive life, as long as it is well painted, as this one is.