The Official Writing Challenge
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08/10/06
How cute! And when Mrs. Thompson handed him a coin, I'll bet that Brandon felt "rich."
08/12/06
Other than a cute comment by the child, this story didn't take me anywhere unexpected. Which means it didn't grow, entertain, or teach the me anything new. I'm also scratching my head at how it relates to the theme word - vision.
08/13/06
Cute story, but I'm with Gary; sorry, I see no Vision or Message. Nice writing however.
This is indeed well written. The enthusiasm of the children is never twee or overly cute but quite realistic and the mother's responses are perfectly balanced between wanting to encourage but wishing to inject a bit of adult realism into their vision.

And yes, they do have a vision. Okay, it's not a spiritual vision. In fact, it's a vision of material wealth, of the kind that maybe Donald Trump had when he was a child.

The children refer to their vision when one of them says:
"It's just how I had it pictured in my mind!"

The rules of the Challenge say that the writing doesn't have to have specifically Christian content (but obviously neither should any character be blasphemous, etc).

Neither, in my opinion, though it doesn't say this in the rules either way, does every piece of writing have to have a 'message' of the preaching kind. It is enough sometimes that an article paints a picture of normal, happy, positive life, as long as it is well painted, as this one is.