The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/10/06
Great ending, and this was an effective way to tell this story; we're in Jason's head all along, and you did a good job of "showing, not telling." There were a few run-ons, and a few fragments, but all in all, a captivating story.
I liked your story but some of its impact was lost through failure to do a careful edit on its completion. Many writers think this unimportant but I edit my work 4 or 5 times before submitting because I know that even a misspelled word can cause my editors to stop reading & toss my work in the E file.
08/11/06
Captivating story! Now make sure and let someone else read over it the next time before you submit so it can be the Masterpiece it screams to be!!! Trust me, I know!!! Someone with a fresh eye can make all the difference. Yet even without further edit, it speaks of someone quite capable of writing a grand story!
08/11/06
Bad entry, should have stuck with Poetry. Or learn to copy and paste right..
08/11/06
That a way to tell 'em Pup!!!