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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Vision (08/03/06)

TITLE: War games
By Helen Paynter
08/06/06


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‘Boo!’
The soldiers of Aram tumbled out of their hiding place, brandishing their weapons and looking as scary as they knew how.
‘Oops, sorry!’
Instead of surprising the army of Israel, they had jumped out on an old peasant and his donkey. They hastily put away their swords and tried to look as if they were out for a picnic. The peasant hurried away, shaking his head and muttering.


‘It’s not fair!’ They stood before their King, shuffling and trying to pass the blame. ‘We keep hiding and jumping out, but they never show up!’
The King rubbed his beard. Why was the army of Israel so hard to catch?
One of his officers stepped forward. ‘He has a prophet, the King of Israel does. He knows everything we do in secret. His eyes are everywhere.’ He dropped his voice to sound spooky. The Queen shuddered and wrapped her robes around her.
The King stamped his foot. ‘That’s not fair. I want a prophet! Go and get me a prophet. And don’t come back until you have.’


Elisha stretched in bed. What shall we do today, Gehazi? I know, let’s play I spy. You go first.
Gehazi looked around the room. Two stools, two bowls, two bed rolls. Hmmm. He got up and looked out of the window.
‘Oh, my master, I spy something beginning with T… H… A… C… O… A...!’
Elisha turned onto his back and yawned. ‘Easy. The horses and chariots of Aram.’
Gehazi pouted. Playing I spy with a prophet was pretty tricky.
‘My turn,’ Elisha shouted with glee. ‘H… A… C… O… F…’
‘Heaps and clumps of fur?’
‘Wrong!’
‘Huge awful clouds of funder?’
‘Gehazi! Try properly, or I won’t play any more.’
‘Well, I give up then.’
Elisha sighed. Playing I spy with someone who could only see with his eyes was pretty tricky. ‘Lord, open his eyes...’
‘Oh, I have it! Horses and chariots of fire! Angels everywhere! How silly of me not to get it straight away.’
Elisha nodded. Now, to do something about those pesky Arameans.


The soldiers of Aram had been doing so well. They’d tracked Elisha down to Dothan. They’d surrounded the city overnight. They had begun the charge… and then things started to go wrong.
‘Hey, who turned out the lights?’
‘Not so fast, you’re treading on my ankles.’
‘Mind out with that sword, it’s sharp you know.’
Then a voice through the thick fog. ‘Shall I show you the way?’
‘Oh yes.’
‘Yes please.’
‘Lead on, friend.’
‘This way,’ soothed the voice. They all held hands and started to follow…
… up hills, ‘not so fast’… across fields, ‘I got stung’… over walls, ‘are we there yet?’… through streams, ‘I can’t swim!’
At last they stopped and sat down.
Elisha prayed, ‘Lord, open their eyes.’
‘Hey, where are we?’
‘We’ve been taken for a ride… well a long walk, anyway.’
‘Who are they?’
The King of Israel strolled over. ‘Good to see you all. Nice of you to drop in. Elisha, what do I do with them now?’
‘Oh, let’s have a party. Who’s for a game of blind man’s buff?’



Based on 2 Kings 6 v 8 – 23. If you don’t believe me, check for yourself!


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Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 08/10/06
This is hilarious! Loved it! Would have preferred white space between all of the paragraphs, not just "sections," but that may be just personal preference. The tone of this is perfect, and I especially got a chuckle out of "funder."
Sharon Singley08/10/06
I like this one! Good job!
Sue Dent08/10/06
Oh, good, I started a trend! I Spy! LOL And Blind Man's Bluff for vision! Very clever there! I'm very bias though. I love this style of writing! And I particularaly like this entry. Grand job!
Jessica Schmit08/10/06
Incredible. what a wonderful,creative stroy. A pure delight from beginning to end. I liked the overall theme and tone. It wasn't too silly, but wasn't too serious. It was hilarious and powerful all in one. Love it!
david grant08/12/06
One of my favs this week. Ha!
Marilyn Schnepp 08/12/06
Never realized the Book of 2nd Kings was that comical; or that War Games could be that funny; but leave it to a modern day writer, with a creative mind and the ability to read between the lines... and WOW! A real delight! Excellent job! Loved that first paragraph, the fiasco with the peasant & donkey...great stuff!
Caitlynn Lowe08/14/06
That was great! A very hilarious interpretation of a Bible story usually thought of in a pretty serious light. Well done, an excellent piece!
Jan Ross08/15/06
Excellent and hillariouiis all wrapped up into one! Such an imagination you have! Awesome! :)
Joanne Sher 08/16/06
No wonder you're a master now, Helen! Congrats on an amazingly crafted, powerful and funny story (those are rare - not sure I really have to tell YOU that!). I love your "interpretation" of this Bible story!
Gary Sims08/16/06
This is very good. Thank you