The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/10/06
I love the first half of this, with the sprightly dialog and the right/left lanes. A few POV shifts later in the piece, but it's a charming and sweet story.
08/12/06
Sweet, but it needed a bit more detail here and there. Like him pulling the car over and kissing her. How was she sleeping that allowed him to do this? I really liked the message though. Nice job.
08/15/06
Cute story.
It took me a minute to get through the first few lines as I tried to figure out who was talking, but then it flowed better. A little polish on the dialogue and detail wouldn't hurt. ;-)
Good job. I'm glad you submitted this piece!