The Official Writing Challenge
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It was a wonderful vision (and I really liked the three fish jumping in unison--nice touch), but I can't help but being sorry that Bill was unable to communicate Jesus better to his wife. Nice job with the descriptive elements here.
I like this story. The title...YIKES! Then the grudge against her husband. Then the vision. Good stuff. You brought it to life. However, it was hindered a bit by some bad sentence structure that distracted me. Needs some editing and I think it would be something special.
I was minding my own business, looking at the Advanced title list, when your title grabbed me and pulled me in! A very good piece - I think you've done a good job of showing up superficial loveless faith which doesn;t really touch the individuals it's trying to reach. I'm glad it came good for her in the end!
What an excellent story...and I'm NOT saying it because the main character has a LOVELY name! The title was nothing short of genius, and I loved being in the boat with Jesus! This reminded me of the film, "The Perfect Stranger." If you haven't seen it, check it out! I love to imagine what it would be like to be in His presence. Thanks for a really great story!