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Did you ever wake up and wish you were somewhere else in life? That is where I was last year. Consequently, I went through a divorce last year, and it was excruciatingly painful. I wanted the year and the pain to be over with to see where I would be emotionally, spiritually, and physically a year later. My vision was so limited at the time, and I couldn’t rely on myself to see anything but my emotional pain. Not only was the current event painful, but also memories of all the other painful events of my life flooded back. Pain tugged on the old wounds and left me fatigued and frightened. It was during this time that I knew I needed to really trust God and so I experienced first hand what the Psalmist says in Psalm 34:18 “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” That was me, crushed in spirit and down for the count. But not for long…for God is so faithful and gentle.
Meanwhile, it was important for me to write this and to share with those who are going through some tragedy, to say hold on! God has a vision. He has your course mapped out. Don’t rely on your own vision. Our perspective is limited. We are limited as humans. Another verse that really helped me was: Isaiah 42:16: “ I’ll take the hand of those who don’t know the way, who can’t see where they are going. I’ll be a personal guide to them, directing them through unknown country. I’ll be right there to show them what roads to take, make sure they don’t fall into the ditch. These are the things I’ll be doing for them, sticking with them, not leaving them for a minute.” God did all of that for me, he was a personal guide through an unknown country called pain and he did not leave me for a minute.
A year later, I wish I could tell you a happily-ever-after story and report that my life is terrific. I can’t. But I can tell you that God is restoring my broken life and making it whole again. I can also tell you that my relationship with him is becoming stronger as I rely on Him and Trust in his sovereign will. I was able to accomplish many things this last year. I started a new position at work and received an award, quit a cigarette addiction, lost some weight, and healed some emotionally. I can experience joy today, not just pain. I also have learned to wait on God’s timing and not my own. I have hope once again. My future is bright.
My vision is this and it’s a good one for me to live by “I have set the LORD always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 16:8.
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