The Official Writing Challenge
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I so much enjoyed this! You really have a talent for this kind of writing.
That has all the makings of a good educational video for children suffering from diabetes. It kept me engrossed.
Very well done! If I were the parent of a diabetic child, I'd LOVE to have this as an illustrated book or video. Excellent.
This is VERY cool! You definitely took ME for quite the ride! Very imaginative!
I love this, and I hate to be picky, but I don't think you've got the action of insulin quite right. It's more that the green blobs 'kidnap' the yellow ones and drag them off to their lair (ie insulin assists in glucose uptake and storage). But that doesn't detract from the brilliance of using this method of communicating to young children about their disease. Now, perhaps someone coud write one about how the kidneys work for my adult patients...
Very creative and well written. Good job.
What a wonderful imagination you have! A great piece that would definitely speak to and comfort some ill children out there.
If you pitch this idea to a children's publisher you may just get a contract for a few books. Just run your facts by some professionals before you send in the sample, because as a former nurse, the insulin only assists in helping the sugar get from the blood into the body muscles etc.