The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/29/06
We need some more detail about the beackground to the story, a little fleshing out. Otherwise, there is good stuff here.
07/30/06
I have just read two Mystery stories - back to back. I am beginning to think I'm losing it - or what marbles I HAD in my head yesterday are now missing. What? Why? Who? and How? So many blanks and nobody to clue me in. Intriguing? Yes! Understandable? Not exactly, I definitely need help with this one.
You've done a nice job of piquing my interest. I want to know more about Abby and what happened. Who is the narrator, btw?

As the comments stated above, more detail would've helped. Still, you've done a good job bring us in, just show us a bit more.
08/01/06
I have to agree. Great job, but where are you going with this? What happens next? Why did this happened? What happend to Abby? Com'on! I need more info! I know there's more to the story, but I don't know what it is and it's killing me!
What you have is good, but I think there should be more.