The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/04/12
Wow - this was powerful and held such an air of authenticity. So this may or may not be a true story, but either way...what a great message. You've managed to touch on the topic by showing, rather than telling. That little girl's eyes panning the MC's apartment said it all! That is not a small feat. Exccellent job! And, brilliant entry.

Thank you. God Bless~
This is an excellent message. I wasn't sure where you were going at first because your transition was a tad abrupt. The ending is a powerful message and one we all can need to be reminded of from time to time.
Expert descriptions! Reading it makes me feel the heat
in the apartment as well as all the frustration, plus the ultimate moment of conscience at the end.
What a powerful entry and right on target. This truly spoke to my heart. I loved how you showed the reader because it drove the point home. Thank you and God bless.
05/10/12
Congratulations and God Bless~