Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Blog (10/20/11)
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TITLE: Renegade | Previous Challenge Entry
By V. Joy Ocasio
11/03/11 -
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The government has declared a national religion. President Turner states that religious freedom has not been revoked, but has instead been expounded to fit the wide and vast needs of the nation. He started in a press release, “It’s not just one religion this or one religion that anymore. There’s something in here for everyone. Whether you had a previous religion or were an Atheist like I was, you will come to see the benefits of our One World religion. No longer will we be a divided nation, but a united nation. And hopefully we will finally achieve our long term goal of a united world.” Effective on the first of January, all churches must be altered from previous religions in order to achieve nation wide unity. All religious leaders must report to the following, government-approved facilities to receive training and their One World religious license…
I slammed the newspaper down onto the table. Anger infused my every bone and ran through my body like a wild stallion. The words, the lies, echoed through my heart louder and louder each minute. The president and the government could say whatever they wanted about how they were not revoking religious freedom, and maybe to a point they were right. They were actually killing religious freedom, not revoking it. They were taking away my God, my meaning to life, and the answer to all my needs.
In short, they were taking away the air I needed to breath.
Already the small church I pastured had begun to despair. I felt utterly hopeless, not knowing how to lead them with the government breathing down my back. When I would not conform, the government would surly revoke my license. If I tried to preach in church, someone would report me, and that would be the end. I had less than a month to figure something out, but what could I do?
There had to be a way.
I logged onto the church website, and prepared to write my weekly blog.
There was no way to describe what happened next except as a miracle. A light bulb from God.
Because suddenly I knew what to do.
Week One
I log in and I begin to write my blog.
My name is Conner Hudson. I am a pastor. I believe that Jesus is the only way to Heaven, and that He is God’s son. Man is sinful, and Jesus died so that our sins could truly and forever be forgiven.
I defy the One World Religion.
I will not conform.
I will write messages of truth to you as long as I can.
If anyone is out there who loves Jesus, do not despair. I will teach Jesus for as long as God allows me.
In His love.
Week Forty
Some of you have asked about my whereabouts. I move around a lot. One location isn’t safe for long. It’s a hard life. However, I do not mourn it. I know that I am encouraging other believers around the world. Strengthening you during this trial, gives me the strength to move another day.
I am reminded of the brave men who translated the Bible into other languages. They had to run from the law of that day as well. But without them the Word as we know it would not exist. If they had decided that the road before them was too dangerous, too lonely, too much to endure, mankind would have lost the privilege of reading God’s Word.
Let me say this again; I do not mourn my lot. Instead I will run with patience the race set before me. I will run to God, and His truth.
And I will do His will.
Take heart, dear ones.
In His love.
Week One Hundred and twelve
I write to you today with a joyful heart. I have been blessed beyond words. In this time of travel, I have come to a better understanding of the Word. And through that understanding, I have come to cherish a deeper relationship with my Savior.
Truly in our weakness His strength is made known!
I do not know how much longer I will be able to continue writing to you like this. But I shall continue as long as I am able.
In His love.
An hour later, I log out.
Just then I hear the door bang open. It's followed by shouting and gunshots.
And I know.
It’s over.
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I saw a few small things to nitpick:
I'm guessing "pastured" is meant to be "pastored"?
Atheist should not be capitalized. It is not a proper name ... not a name of a religion. (Or beginning of a sentence.)
"surly" should be "surely".
I'm guessing your formatting changed when you submitted it. Did you mean to have so many spaces between paragraphs?
I believe using actual numbers to number your weekly entries would have been more appropriate, however, even if writing out the words ... in "Week One Hundred and twelve" ... it looks like you forgot to capitalize "Twelve".
My first thought when I read "they were taking away my God" is that nobody could take God away, but I get what the point is. I might have written that they were "attempting" to take away my God, and then follow it with the fact that they can't.
This is an excellent entry. Very memorable, good ending, and I'm sure it will do well in the judges.
I did notice a couple of minor errors. Started instead of stated. Pastured instead of pastored. (although I'm sure spell-Check corrected itbecause pastor is usually considered amain not a verb)
I think your weakness criteria was creativity. There have been numerous stories about this exact subject. However, I still enjoyed reading it and think it is a message that bears repeating.
The ending, though somewhat predictable was still a strong conclusion. Overall, I think this was a powerful well-written story.
Creative and well written storyline. Thanks! God Bless~
One more thing, have you thought of turning this story into a book?
I read most of the entries in intermediate, and this is my favorite so far...
You beat me out, darn it!
Congrats :)