Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Time-consuming (02/24/11)
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TITLE: Only One Life, Will Soon Be Past... | Previous Challenge Entry
By Kaye Swain
02/28/11 -
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Groaning inwardly at the interruption, Beverly looked at her grandson and smiled.
"I'm proof reading my book for my editor," she replied. "It's due tonight and I really need to finish it. Can you go work on your jigsaw puzzle for just a few more minutes, while I work? Then we'll sit down, practice your Bible memory verses, and finish reading Amelia Bedelia together?"
The little boy frowned, then walked past her to pick up his Webkinz tiger.
"Can't we read now, grandma. I'm tired of the puzzle. And you've been working all morning."
Sighing, the stocky grandmother ruffled his blond hair. "Just five more minutes, Michael! Then I promise we'll read."
Turning back to her manuscript, she inwardly groaned at the time-consuming interruption. As she turned the page, she accidentally knocked over the newspaper sitting on the table. Frustrated at yet another delay, she picked it up, automatically scanning headline.
Another traffic accident was in the headlines. Taking a second look as she set it down, she realized this one involved a grandparent and her two granddaughters - all of whom had been killed on impact.
Slowly she set the paper down, praying silently for the grieving family. She started to turn back to her manuscript, then stopped.
"What am I thinking," she asked herself. "My editor said I could take an extra day if I need to. What if something happened to Michael or me like this? Would I want our last memory to be me working on a manuscript. Or...."
"Michael," she called out.
He came running in and she scooped him up and gave him a great big bear hug.
"Hey, Sweetie," she said. Let's get your Awana book and Amelia Bedelia. We need to spend some important cuddle time together!"
"Yay!" he shouted happily.
Five minutes later, Michael was nestled in her arms saying his newest Bible verse for her, times or heritage
Looking up at her, he asked, "Grandma, what does it mean to believe in your heart?"
Smiling at him tenderly, she replied, "That means that you really truly believe that Jesus was God come to earth, that He died on the cross, and that God the Father raised Him from being dead - and you want to tell others about it and tell them that He is YOUR Lord and Savior. And then you'll know that you are truly His child, a Christian."
"I believe that, Grandma! I love Jesus. I want Him to be my Savior."
Catching her breath and feeling as though her heart stopped for just a second, she looked down beaming at the sight of her precious grandchild, entering the joy of eternal life!
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I also caught the sentence error...so easy to do, and we have all done it. Good job writing! God bless!
being picky i noticed that you use the expression "groaning inwardly" twice and maybe using a slightly different wording for the emotion would flow better than a simple repetition. Having said that you have plenty of lovely dialogue and it otherwise flows beautifully so i am being extra picky here!!