The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 772 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
01/15/10
I liked this although I never imagined Christ as a "thin frail looking man." For me, different wording would have worked better there, but that's my only real suggestion.
01/15/10
I agree with you Shilo. I don't see Jesus as a thin frail main, either. But through the eyes of a strong muscular Roman shoulder, I can see were he would.
This is an emotional piece but quite inconsistent with the sacred scriptures. The whip used on the Lord Jesus in the gospel accounts could have been a scourge or a reed. I suggest that a prosaic work of fiction should not bear names of real people or allude to them like you have done.
All the same, this is a nice piece. Keep on writing.
I enjoyed this article and thank you for sharing.
01/18/10
Biblical fiction that postulates the lives of people not specifically mentioned in the Bible is very appealing, and helps to illuminate Scripture. Thanks for this story!

I've started a class in the FaithWriters forums for Beginner and Intermediate writers. I'd love to see you there--look for "Jan's Writing Basics".
01/19/10
In the second para, I just knew this was going to be about Jesus and flinched when reading the rest of the story. Very well written.