The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
10/25/07
Would have loved to hear Frank's response (that word count can be an issue, eh?)- but this is a good read - conversational and informative and engaging. Keep writing.
10/25/07
Enjoyed the development of Frank's personality, and the phrase "I feel like a bride wearing read." Nice job.
10/25/07

Interesting. I like the bride in red!
This was sure nice! I enjoyed reading the story and liked the last line. My only note is you used 'ain't' as a word of dialouge in Deacon Jarvis' advice, but the rest of his words seemed fairly normal. If you're adding an accent, try to slip in a few different little words, instead of just one or two. It adds more life to the character. ^_^