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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Walk (07/20/06)

TITLE: In this city long enough
By Andre Kingston
07/25/06


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I have been in this city long enough
To know not to walk alone at night
But not long enough to have anyone
To walk with tonight

There is no peaceful, idle spot in which
To watch the sunset over the water
Or even over a bit of natural
Landscape of any kind

The buildings tower over everything
Like guards keeping nature out
Or mausoleums keeping the dead
From worms and other natural events

Buildings of plain blocks, safes
Keeping the slaves from escaping
Or walls of glass begging for
Something to clothe its nakedness

I wrack my mind for a plan
For peace in my soul
A friend in which to share the grind
Or a bit of nature to ease the pain

I want to walk the beach from
Home, with the sun lighting
The waters in shades of riches
Orange, purple, blue and green

I want to walk in solitude with God
It is unsafe to walk in this city
With God or otherwise
I have no where to not walk to


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This article has been read 622 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Steve Uppendahl08/03/06
This is powerful stuff. I can feel your emotion coming through. This looks and reads like a poem, but to me had a fictional story feel to it.

I really think you could write a heck of a story, especially if you kept the first person narrative. Bring in some more description (sounds, smells, etc.), perhaps.

Your first stanza is excellent and hooked me right away.

I truly enjoyed this. Nice work.