The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/20/06
What a blessing you've described! And you've blessed us by sharing it. A few minor things you might want to change: the title would be more correct as "A Blissful Awakening", and in one paragraph you used the same phrase "be (home) with the Lord" three times in three sentences.

You put your readers right in the room, and did a great job of conveying to us the grace that you received that day.
07/22/06
I noticed several grammatical errors. One of the main ones was the use of "presents" (as in gifts) when you meant presence (as in your father's being on earth with you). Still, none of these detracted from the power of your story. What an awesome blessing to know that your father is home now, and one day you will be with him again. Thank you for sharing this wonderful memory with us.