The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/14/06
I do hope this story is True - for it shows just how great God is; two people, both praying to God; one for "help & a ride home", and the other for "guidance & protection"...and both prayers were answered. Well written. Thanks for sharing.
I do walk at the mall almost every day and I do see the teenagers but this girl is in my mind.I wrote this story late at night and the next morning when I was at the mall I thought of the girl and really felt like she would be there.Thanks for your kind words.Cheryl
Very nicely done story. I think it's great you brought realism into your fiction. I like to do that myself.

My only suggestion would be to add some dialogue. You summarize what the two of you said, but I'd rather see it verbatim. Besides, dialogue brings the characters to life more (in my opinion).

Very good story overall. Keep it up.