The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Your story has good dialogue. With a little work on your opening this would have been a stronger piece. The opening, to me, was too wordy and didn't flow well. I was about to give up on it until I started reading the dialogue. And that was excellent. Just watch out for repeating words in sentences close to each other. You have talent. Keep working it. God Bless!
I have to "ditto" the comments of William above. I also hung it up as a lost cause, but then after reading his comments, went back to finish reading it. Thanks for sharing this story with us.
Good stuff here. It captured my attention and was unusual enough to keep me guessing as to what was going to happen. Congratulations.
I enjoyed reading this piece. I think some descriptive sentences would help break up the conversation a little bit. Otherwise, good work.