The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/14/06
Your story has good dialogue. With a little work on your opening this would have been a stronger piece. The opening, to me, was too wordy and didn't flow well. I was about to give up on it until I started reading the dialogue. And that was excellent. Just watch out for repeating words in sentences close to each other. You have talent. Keep working it. God Bless!
07/15/06
I have to "ditto" the comments of William above. I also hung it up as a lost cause, but then after reading his comments, went back to finish reading it. Thanks for sharing this story with us.
07/17/06
Good stuff here. It captured my attention and was unusual enough to keep me guessing as to what was going to happen. Congratulations.
07/19/06
I enjoyed reading this piece. I think some descriptive sentences would help break up the conversation a little bit. Otherwise, good work.