I could see my sister and myself. Both of us were walking. Thoughts ran in my mind. I would soon be executed. My sister does not know of it but she is accompanying me. I shared with my mother. Did she cry? I doubt it. She knew about it but did not cry as I took leave saying bye.
I was thinking. Yes I know about eternal life. But am I prepared to die?
I started saying this verse over and over in my mind.
Isaiah 41:10 (King James Version)
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
I wondered why my sister was so silent. Did she really know? I'm not sure. I wanted to cry but just couldnít. I was so nervous of how painful this death would be and how it would feel like being executed.
Tomorrow by this time everything would be the same but just that I would not be there. I swallowed hard at this thought. We reached the destination. There was an electric chair in front of me, a doctor beside me checking my pulse. My breathing increased its pace. I looked at my sister as she was there with me. It was a great comfort to me.
I was thinking of the pain death would cause me. Fear thou not for I am with thee. I repeated them over and over. Fear gripped me. I knew everyone I saw now would be there tomorrow. Would they think about me??
I turned to the doctor, looked at him pleadingly and asked. Would they just give me an injection and I could die without pain. The doctor was sympathetic but just nodded his head. Time was ticking by.
They directed me to the chair. Fear continued. I now said fast all that I could remember
The Lord is my shepherd. Fear thou not for I am with thee. Ö
It was just like everything would be over soon. I looked around if I could see Jesus waiting. No sight of him yet. I was looking frantically for Jesus and maybe that would help me feel better of the sting.
At this suddenly got up totally filled with panic. I looked around. Was it a Dream?
All seemed so real. Thank God that it was just a dream. But it almost shook me and I could feel the shiver all over me. Why this dream? Is God trying to tell me something?
How often I have felt that death would have solved a lot of pain? But still was I ready to face it? No I was not.
I realized it. I should not be taking life as granted and doing all I wanted. I have to repent of my sinful life and ask God to take control of my life.
I knelt down and said. Lord Iím sorry for the things that I have done are not pleasant to you. Please forgive me again this time. Help me overcome my weakness and trust you for wisdom and guidance to overcome. I ask these in the name of Jesus. Amen
I could feel the grace of God over me. Relieved went back to sleep again.
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