The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 825 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
How very true, we just need to recall scenes like more often and treasure them.
06/23/06
As an empty-nester, I can certainly relate to the mood here...very aptly written.
06/23/06
This is great. My wife needs to read this. I'm going to go get her.
06/25/06
I do look back on the days when our children were growing up, I did have the time of my life! They were so much fun, I really enjoyed their childhood years.
Terrific entry, Lisa! Your opening is a grabber, and your style here has lots of good forward motion, with a wonderfully clear voice throughout. (I really enjoy your tongue-in-cheek humor!)

If you're begging for a nitpick, you might go a bit easier on the adverbs in the second half...But nothing major at all.

Near the end, I could really feel her pangs of nostalgia (and which of us doesn't have them?) over the lost moments. And your final sentence is just right--very satisfying. Lovely work!
This is great. I only found 1 sentence with a problem and it is only a small typo. This is it:

"All that time she was in hurry for them to grow up so she could “get on with life."

I sure hope the italics work in this sentence.
06/26/06
I am afraid some of the coded from Word or Works are simply destoying some of your sentences. A pretty good story, but disruptive with the code problems.
06/26/06
I agree with Dub -- the code problems are distracting. Next time try writing using Note Pad because it removes all the backend code that Word always puts in there. I normally use Word to write because it helps with spelling and sentence structure, etc, but copy it to Ntoe Pad and then copy it here to post. Aside from that, this was a delightful story. Good job! :)
I like the story. It is too bad about the code problems. Good job, though.
Lisa, code problems or not I shall remember you story everytime I trip over something.

Blessings!
Trina<><
06/27/06
This is a great story. Your dialogue flowed very naturally. Also, a wonderful reminder to enjoy every moment. Very well done.
06/27/06
There are times when we can't see the forest for the trees. I try to live in the moment with my children but it doesn't always work. Sometimes, I just want a clean house. Thank God that the Lord blesses me with enough of those priceless situations so that I can soak up all the fun and love my kids can dish out. Thanks for sharing.

The writing is good. Your ideas flowed well.
06/28/06
A great way to put it all in perspective. Enjoy them while they are young :)
Hooray for you, Lisa! A well-deserved win. You're on your way up!
06/29/06
Wonderful! Congratulations! :)
06/30/06
Ah, this made me cry, so sweet. My children are gone and I have my grandson, who I adopted, making all the messes he can. He is 8. This encourages me to be more appreciative of the life in my home. Congratulations!
07/09/06
Lisa,
Wow! This is a wonderfully sweet story. I can so relate to the "clean house or let the kids be kids" problem.

CONGRATULATIONS on the win! I've been away for too long. Now, you're in advanced! Way to go!