The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/22/06
A bit complicated and comfusing...but reached out and touched a fiber of my being...needs to be read more than once to get the drift.
06/23/06
This is like a rapid slide show--little pictures of life. I was confused by the rapidly shifting points of view (who is narrating this?), but the mood definitely shines through.
06/24/06
It looks like two births are occuring. The contractions of muscle like the pressure of sin pushing us thru canals of fluidity to a solid place we were meant to live.

Well...it sounded good anyway.
06/26/06
Not sure where this is going, perhaps with a little expansion it might be clearer.