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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Life (06/15/06)

TITLE: SUNSET
By Alfreda Byars
06/15/06


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Sunset

I’m sitting on my front porch musing on the day, the sun is beginning to set, starring me right in the face with all of it’s brilliance and glory, and suddenly as one would slowly close his eyes to sleep, a large cloud covers the brightness of the sun giving me shade; in and out, in and out as if some one was winking at me from above.

I listened at a conversation between two birds from one tree to another, chirping and screeching, wondering
what they could be saying, then several of them flew down into the yard as if searching for something.

The wind begins to blow softly on my skin and through my hair tossing it across my face. I closed my eyes and inhaled as if to suck it all in, nature communing with creation, living
breathing Life.

Look, the sun is out again sending down sunbeams through the trees casting shadows on the grown and the grass swaying to and fro as the wind blows gently over it.

The sun has lowered herself now playing peek a boo behind distant trees waving good by as she goes down for the night leaving behind her a train of rippled clouds and a reddish orange glow.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Marilyn Schnepp 06/22/06
Ah..yes, the beautiful Life; God's creation; the sunsets, the breeze, the very air we breathe; however, a few little typo's or goofs here and there - but a restful, peaceful look at nature. Thanks for sharing.
Jan Ackerson 06/23/06
What a lovely, serene word picture! Be careful of switches in tense and POV. You did a good job of putting the reader right in the scene with you.
Kaylee Blake 06/24/06
Wow, I could see it right before my eyes! Great, fluid, vivid descriptions!
Kimberly Mitchell06/26/06
You have something good here. I wish it was a little longer though.Keep writing. :)
dub W06/26/06
Good start and very descriptive, expand the next one. Oh, and always look at the preview before posting.