The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/15/06
"...I have been reminded that my needs are simple and that I am already living a life of abundance."

Wow... I just finished reading an article about Mother Theresa and the condition of the people she ministered to... we are SO blesssed materially, and so often don't see it. But beyond that, God blesses us with an overflowing spiritual LIFE... and often we don't avail ourselves of it.

Excellent writing. Clear, concise, drew me in.
06/15/06
Very nice--a devotional disguised as a narrative, and beautifully done. (I once saw a fellow buying 6 bunches of bananas and a bag of corn chips. Sent me into hours of speculation...) Very readable "voice."

Teensy suggestion: re-write the 2nd person reference in the first paragraph.

I like the bits about the reading glasses and the junk food--that's the sort of thing that keeps your reader reading until they hit the pow! moment.
06/17/06
Very, very interesting. You CAN tell alot about people and their shopping carts! An "of" was left out in Kid's treats, but that was forgotten after delving into your creative thoughts about people, God and our abundance...Very nicely done. (As for Jan's speculations about the bananas and corn chips...the man was going to visit a zoo).
06/19/06
Almost a narrative. You tell a good story. To liven it up a little add dialog to make the essay active. Without the dialog it is a long devotion.
I really enjoyed this and can identify, being a people-watcher in checkout lines myself! A real good read.
This is wonderful and very thought provoking. I loved it.
06/21/06
My favorite line:
"Much of the culture today has become like the little child who wants more but never seems satisfied."

We do learn so much, just keeping our eyes open. I like your entertaining approach to the topic.
06/27/06
Great job! This immediately drew me in with the down to earth, conversational tone. I love the way you ended it..."did you find everything you needed today?" Great way to wrap it up and leave the reader thinking. I really enjoyed it.
12/20/06
There's lots of good puzzling to be had at the checkout counter. Like a slice of someone else's day or life. I like that the author brings out the connectedness we all share in such places.