The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1524 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
03/07/05
I liked the idea of the older brother writing a note. I thought you could have shortened his note as it was a little difficult to read. I particulary liked the ending dialogue.
Even though I liked the note, I agree with Chris. This child would not be able to write such a long note. It could have been tightened up a little bit more. I like the sentiment behind this story. I see so many parents missing the mark in treating their older children after they have a new baby. Nicely done!
03/07/05
I thought it was very well done. I'm not sure I agree on the 'note length' issue. Whose to say that one of these 'faithwriters' could'nt have written that long,... you know, a child prodigy. Anyway, I think it's great work!
03/08/05
Very touching. Clever letter. Good imagery - I could see the scene with Mom, Dad, and Michael in my mind. Really good job!
03/08/05
Excellent work. I like the concept, and the execution is good. Tugs at the heart in just the right places, and just the right amounts.

Thanks for posting, this one is a keeper.
I think a child with this much to say would have written it all. Children have so many words and when pushed they will sit and struggle for an hour to get them out. Well, I'm sure I would have but mom always did tell me I didn't know when to quit!

What a wonderful little story and gentle reminder that sometimes we hurt when we least mean to hurt. It goes deeper than a story between a parent and a child.
I'm on the side of all those people who think a kid can write a letter that long - if they really feel motivated, there's a lot that they can do!

And btw, Matthew reminds me of my nephew... especially at the end. Great story. :)
03/10/05
That's so touching...... Poor little boy - thank goodness his mother did finally notice his saddness and listen. Well written ... even if there were a few spelling mistakes!!! (I reckon if he were a child prodigy he could have written that, but he'd know how to spell his name and he needs either / both remedial spelling work and accelerated learning work!)
03/10/05
I like it Sally - really effective, and very creative - you are an good writer, and I like all the material you submit. I am, quite frankly, a fan!
03/10/05
Sally, I'm such a sticky-beak. I had to come and see what everyone was "arguing" about on your story. My personal opinion - for what it's worth - is that it was just right. I loved the gentle whisper you brought in from the Lord between Michael's note and the step into his parents' point of view. Very, very creative and you definitely nailed the topic. Love, Deb
03/10/05
Very creative and thought provoking. I agree, he is probably a FW in the making! Well done. ~L~
03/11/05
Personally speaking, I think Matthew needs to be homeschooled with a large Spelling Power book :)
03/14/05
Sally,

Wow! This is awesome! Congratulations on excellent work!

Blessings, Cheri
WOO HOO Sally!

I LOVE this article. I'm so glad you placed. The book will be better 'cause this is in it! First of many, I'm sure. Congratulations on a well-deserved win.
03/14/05
Sally, this was wonderful. I loved how Debbie's maternal instinct kicked in (or was that God's voice prompting her? ) Who knows? They might be one and the same. Congratulations!