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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Favoritism (02/28/05)

TITLE: Deer Momy and Dady
By Sally Hanan
03/02/05


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Deer Momy and Dady,

Ime running a way.
you don’t luv me anee more
I tried to tel you but you don’t lissun.
evur sins mikal came to ower howse you don’t let me speek. You tell me to bee qwite. you giv me that meen look.

so ime running a way.

you sed that I wuz yur spechul gift frum god but ime not cuz now god sent a mor speshul gift to you. his name is mikal and he duznt want you to bee my mommy and daddy anee mor. That babee crys on purpus and you go running to him and make funy fases and hold him and stay with him un til he stops crying. When I cry you say be a big boy mathyou, big boyz don’t cry. Look at mikal see what a good bruthr you hav? Of corse he is gud. You love him more then me and it makes him happy.

It makes me sad veree sad.

Becus god made me then he must think ime speshul so ime going to go and liv in the church wer god is he luvs me a lot and he luvs me just the same as mikal and he will say to me mathyou you r sad and I am going to hold you clos to me until you feel ok. And I wil smyle and cuddl up clos and we wil make funy fases and laf like daddy yus to do with me.

Mathyou


"Glenn? Debbie? Something's wrong with Matthew. Go and find him, now."


“John, do you know where Matthew is?" Debbie fixed the clasp on her nursing bra and pulled down her t-shirt. "I haven’t seen him for a while.”

“I saw him head up the stairs about a half hour ago. He must be playing with his Lego. That’ll keep him busy for a while.”

“There’s something not right. Will you hold Michael for a minute? He just needs to be burped. Thanks.” Debbie trudged up the stairs slowly, her arm leaning heavily on the banister to hold up her weary body. She hastened her step when she heard the pillow-muffled crying behind the door. “Matthew, are you OK? Did you hurt yourself? What’s wrong sweetie?”

The paper was clumsily folded on the bed beside his teddy and his toothbrush. The pencil was a bit smudged in places, and a few splotches of wet had landed in various spots, but the message was undeniable. Debbie’s heart tore in shame, just as Matthew’s heart had torn in sorrow. She looked up to see a questioning Glenn standing in the doorway, sleeping baby on his shoulder. She pointed out the letter to him with her eyes.

A few minutes later, as Baby Michael lay sleeping on Captain Underpants, Glenn, Debbie and Matthew sat together on the floor praying.

“Dear Jesus,

We are so sorry for not listening to Matthew. We do love him and we want him to know how special he is. Help us to be the kind of parents you want us to be in showing Matthew how much we adore him. Thank-you that he is such a special gift from You”

“ Help us to include Matthew in everything we do for Michael, and help us to show Matthew how much we love him, every day. Amen”

Matthew looked up at them both with a crooked smile of tentative hope. Sticking most of his fingers into his mouth, he pulled his lips out wide and tried to cross his eyes. He started to laugh, and this time Mommy didn’t shush him. She laughed, right along with Daddy, with him.

“I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me.” Matthew 25:40


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This article has been read 1311 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Chris Miller03/07/05
I liked the idea of the older brother writing a note. I thought you could have shortened his note as it was a little difficult to read. I particulary liked the ending dialogue.
Delores McCarter03/07/05
Even though I liked the note, I agree with Chris. This child would not be able to write such a long note. It could have been tightened up a little bit more. I like the sentiment behind this story. I see so many parents missing the mark in treating their older children after they have a new baby. Nicely done!
David Conrad03/07/05
I thought it was very well done. I'm not sure I agree on the 'note length' issue. Whose to say that one of these 'faithwriters' could'nt have written that long,... you know, a child prodigy. Anyway, I think it's great work!
Lynne Gaunt03/08/05
Very touching. Clever letter. Good imagery - I could see the scene with Mom, Dad, and Michael in my mind. Really good job!
Dave Wagner03/08/05
Excellent work. I like the concept, and the execution is good. Tugs at the heart in just the right places, and just the right amounts.

Thanks for posting, this one is a keeper.
donna robinson03/09/05
I think a child with this much to say would have written it all. Children have so many words and when pushed they will sit and struggle for an hour to get them out. Well, I'm sure I would have but mom always did tell me I didn't know when to quit!

What a wonderful little story and gentle reminder that sometimes we hurt when we least mean to hurt. It goes deeper than a story between a parent and a child.
Catherine Pollock03/09/05
I'm on the side of all those people who think a kid can write a letter that long - if they really feel motivated, there's a lot that they can do!

And btw, Matthew reminds me of my nephew... especially at the end. Great story. :)
Suzanne R03/10/05
That's so touching...... Poor little boy - thank goodness his mother did finally notice his saddness and listen. Well written ... even if there were a few spelling mistakes!!! (I reckon if he were a child prodigy he could have written that, but he'd know how to spell his name and he needs either / both remedial spelling work and accelerated learning work!)
Corinne Smelker 03/10/05
I like it Sally - really effective, and very creative - you are an good writer, and I like all the material you submit. I am, quite frankly, a fan!
Deborah Porter 03/10/05
Sally, I'm such a sticky-beak. I had to come and see what everyone was "arguing" about on your story. My personal opinion - for what it's worth - is that it was just right. I loved the gentle whisper you brought in from the Lord between Michael's note and the step into his parents' point of view. Very, very creative and you definitely nailed the topic. Love, Deb
Linda Germain 03/10/05
Very creative and thought provoking. I agree, he is probably a FW in the making! Well done. ~L~
Sally Hanan03/11/05
Personally speaking, I think Matthew needs to be homeschooled with a large Spelling Power book :)
Cheri Hardaway 03/14/05
Sally,

Wow! This is awesome! Congratulations on excellent work!

Blessings, Cheri
Debbie OConnor03/14/05
WOO HOO Sally!

I LOVE this article. I'm so glad you placed. The book will be better 'cause this is in it! First of many, I'm sure. Congratulations on a well-deserved win.
Kathy Ellis03/14/05
Sally, this was wonderful. I loved how Debbie's maternal instinct kicked in (or was that God's voice prompting her? ) Who knows? They might be one and the same. Congratulations!