The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 640 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
06/15/06
Abundance?.....Hmmmm? I am pondering - you had an abundance of love back then, and NOW you have an abundance of "things" today. That could be the point you are making in this story of memories back in the beautiful hills of Kentucky. Nicely told.
06/15/06
I was enchanted by this from the first word. I would love to see it in a novel... all the adventures and misadventures, happiness and sadness.

I loved the 'dialect,' too. Just needs a few spots tightened up aside from the deliberate dialect. Other than that, very visual, lots of feeling. Good writing.
06/16/06
Visual and heart warming. Story jumped around a little, but I caught up. Truly the family was the abundance.
06/21/06
I enjoyed this, but have a question/comment. The dialect seemed to change in the last two paragraphs - was that intentional? Sort of a grown-up speech? I could almost see this woman sitting on her front porch retelling her story. Nicely done.
06/21/06
I'm having trouble figuring out where the abundance comes in here. The reader is led to believe there was some sort of abuse that required social services and legal protection, yet the end makes it seem like the character was happier there than with a husband who loves and provides for her and her child. You are a wonderful storyteller! Excellent voice. Very passionate. I'm just confused about the point of this piece. What reaction is desired from the reader? I'd like to see it fleshed out a little more. Keep writing! You have a gift.
01/12/07
I am glad that you said in the opening lines where this takes place as my mind immediately was going overseas to Africa or Asia. It is hard to see true abundance in a society of overindulgence but I think your story demonstrates clearly that traces of it can be found in life; however, all of it can be found in Jesus.