Twenty-five minutes before midnight and I must be packing for the next day’s journey; however, ambiguity seemed to nail my hands and feet on my writing desk. My mind constantly swayed like the pendulum on the wall. I tried to pray and read the Bible…Romans chapter 8… but nothing seemed to make sense at all. My brain was jammed. The only option left, to resolve the confusion, was to log into my diary again. Perhaps writing would help me clarify my thoughts.
“Sharks! Where’s THAT pencil?”
It was exactly twelve when I found it. I smiled, realizing that I still had a faithful friend to keep me company in the hours of darkness. I had named him Woodrow, after a favorite character in one of my stories, but he’s just an ordinary yellow-painted pencil #2. I bought him several weeks ago and he had traveled a long, long way with me ever since.
I watched him from his rubber head down to his pointed tip. I began to wonder what it felt like to be a pencil… A moment’s reverie passed and a sparkling idea kindled on my mind. The scent of nostalgia filled the room and a sigh of relief fled off my chest.
And so, Woodrow wagged again…
First of June, 2006
My complicated life story opened up with a very gloomy chapter: my Mom and Dad’s marriage falling apart. As a result, my growing up years became filled with hidden rage, insecurities, fear and doubts.
When I was 15, my best friend in high school shared her faith with me and invited me to “come and see” their church. A new episode began the day I met the Savior. Love, forgiveness, and comfort in time of sorrow - so many spiritual blessings filled the pages of my book. Or was it really mine?
At first I thought that what followed would always be sunny - even at midnight. But as the Author of Life scribbled me into the pages of Time, I realized that I was wrong.
So many twists and turns…
Whenever I encountered some discouraging situations, The Master, in His infinite love and wisdom, would always be there to remind me of some very important truths that helped me regain my focus and sense of direction:
"There are times when it seems I’m just using you for naught, but I love you and care for you more than you’ll ever know. I know that you even think that there is something wrong with the way I am writing your story (which is not really yours in the first place): so many conflicts and subplots and everything appears so unpredictable. But always remember that your point of view is NOT My point of view. I know how to develop my characters too well, and I have My own tone and style. Just learn to trust Me and you will see that there is a definite purpose in every single word and letter and punctuation mark that I inscribe on each page of your book. I won’t tell you how many blank sheets are still left until it’s all over. Just cooperate with me and as soon as I release a new volume(Eternity) you will see the beauty of it all.
You need not worry about the details, the flow of the story and everything else. Our climax will definitely be explosive; our resolution, satisfying. “Happy” is such a trite word to describe our ending. You’ll understand later. Just allow me to hold you in My hand.”
I believe that The Author has already finished the story of my life in His mind. He has designed my destiny even before the world began. And until I learn to follow His leading, I will never appreciate the magnificent splendor of His plan…
Right now, the Lord is about to unfold yet a new chapter in my life. I have told my friends yesterday that I am currently in a period of transition, and I will need as much prayer covering as I could possibly get. When baffled by uncertainties, I remind myself that I am just a pencil in the Author’s hand. Thus I find my peace. No more worries because I am assured of this promise:
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Rom 8:28 KJV
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