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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Purposefulness (Purpose in Life) (05/25/06)

TITLE: the Prom Queen
By Genstacia Bull
05/31/06


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The call sounded urgent, Jenny could not make out from the muffled sound on the phone if it was panic, or despair that she heard in Jadette’s voice. Ten years have passed so swiftly and for once the role had switched. She was the one who needed Jadette’s advice on fashion, boys, and even assignments. Her high school friend had it all made, she grabbed her keys and headed for where Jadette suggested they meet.

Jenny was not prepared for the sight that greeted her. Her prom queen friend was hidden behind dark glasses with swollen lips. They moved to a quieter section of the seedy bar so that they could talk. The place smelled of stale beer and damp carpet. She stuck a gum in her mouth to settle her stomach that threatened to heave her dinner.

As they took their seats, Jadette covered her hands in gratitude. Jenny noticed the nicotine stained fingers and wondered what her friend was going to say. Everything sounded fine when they spoke over the phone. Jenny braced herself for what Jadette was about to unfold. She paid close attention to her body language as much as to what her husky voice uttered. She saw emptiness in her eyes as she unravelled her encounters with one abusive partner after another.

Jenny could not believe that the girl that had boys lining up to date her had been reduced to a punch bag for drunken men. Jenny held her hand as she saw a tear escape her eyes. Jadette looked at her friend and asked how she had become a successful individual in life, even though she was not as smart or good looking. Jenny told her that she always knew what she was created for and that kept her focused during bad times and helped her to make the right choices in life. She assured her friend that she could pick up the pieces of her life if she found out what her purpose was too. Jadette looked blanked. Jenny smiled at her and said she would introduce her to Someone that could help her discover that.


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This article has been read 589 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Virginia Gorg06/02/06
Heartfelt and sad. I think an exchange of dialogue would have been nice - Jadette talling what happened. Watch some words (Jadette looked blanked, should be blank). Overall nicely done with a trueness within.
Gregory Kane06/03/06
Powerful idea but we really only see Jadette in her ugliness. For more of a contrast I would have added a flash-back showing how successful she had appeared to be.
Shari Armstrong 06/03/06
It's sad that so many women let themselves get stuck in those kind of traps. Some dialog would help move it along, but a very good start on a very tough topic!
Marilyn Schnepp 06/04/06
Yes, her friend could introduce her to the One who would give her a Purpose in Life - a great thought for someone who has lost their way; beautifully written except for the "blanked" that should be blank. Very minor...but distracting. Well done.