The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
06/02/06
This is cute, but I was a bit confused over the change from the boy to the woman. Perhaps italics? I like the way the two came together into one story. Nicely done, good descriptives. :)
What a lovely story! (I love kitties; I'm so sorry you lost your second one so soon after the first.)

I like your description:
"Their purring bodies began to circle around and in-between his legs, and they sang a familiar meow as they kept up with the boy."

See what you did with "sang a familiar meow?" You sizzled up the verb and made the picture come alive. "Let out a familiar meow," or "greeted him with the usual meow" would have expressed the action adequately, but "sang" has a whole other world of meaning in it!

If you went through the piece, using an online thesaurus, with the goal of replacing commonplace verbs with "sizzlers" like this, you'll be on your way to a whole new level in creativity! Good job--keep on!
06/05/06
A nice story, I like the connection between the boy and the MC :)