The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/25/06
The joy of being a parent is a blessing from God. Nice Job!
05/26/06
Thank you for this sweet story of the birth of your oldest. Since my son just turned two today I can only imagine what it feels like to look back twenty years before. I noticed some grammatical errors in the piece, but the story is a sweet reminder of the joy of a baby. I'm also impressed that you delivered six(?)!
05/27/06
Nicely told. Try not to repeat phrases too close to each other (eg 'that night' twice in the sixth paragraph). I enjoyed the read.
05/30/06
Thanks for reminding us all what a joy our children are, even when they don't do everything we want!

Consider rewording this sentence: "As the first couple hours went by the pain was getting worst when the doctor wanted me to get up and walk some so that he could break my water to help me along a little more." It needs to be split up into at least two sentences.

Thanks again for a good job.