My goal in life was to be successful at something, but I did not know what? I felt like I could not do anything right.
No matter what I tried, I continued to fail. After I graduated from high school, I enrolled in Washburn University. I started doing okay in some courses, but I had trouble in others. As a result, I was suspended for awhile. I skipped a semester, and tried again. I continued to fail and became depressed.
I tried a nurseís aid training, and that didnít work out. After that, I tried a clerk typist training and finished the course, but my teacher told me she hoped I didnít get a job. I felt discouraged and felt like I couldn't do anything, but I wanted to succeed at something.
In 1978, my life started to turn around. I transferred from Washburn University to The University of Kansas. I made an A in my first class. I continued to succeed in most of my classes and finally graduated with a BGS Degree in Human Development and Family Life.
In 1982, I started my full-time home day care. I succeeded in some ways and failed in others. If I forgot to do something or a child had a small accident like a small bump or bruise, then parents would get mad and quit. As a result, I started to feel like I was not prospering again. I couldn't do anything right. I felt like I had to be perfect in order to be accepted.
In 1982, I lost my day care and house and had to move back home. I became depressed. Later on, I found out that I was to move back home. I became a subsitute teacher for Topeka Public Schools, which I am still doing.
In May, 1999, I took care of my mother, who was dying and finished up my courses at Washburn University. That month, I received a BA Degree in College of Liberal Arts and Sciences. My major was English with a writing emphasis. That was my second success in life.
Even though I had my two degrees, I still had a low self-image, which began when I was young. I felt like I couldn't do anything and wondered if there was any hope for me.
I believed in the past that I had accepted Christ as my Savior, but I felt like something was blocking my relationship to God. I did not know what it was or where God was. I found out in 1987, that I had not accepted Christ as my Savior. One of the pastors of a church I was going to talked to me about repentance, which I didn't understand at the time, and he shared the Gospel with me. I found out I was trying to earn salvation. I accepted Christ on September 27, 1987.
In 2002, I started tutoring online while I stayed home and took care of my father. I had some successes with my online tutoring and some failures.
Now, I am beginning to succeed in my online tutoring. I have also written a book that a publisher is editing for the second time so that he can publish it, which was one of my goals in life. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a writer and to have my writing published.
Each one of us has our own special God-given abilities and talents. God made each one of us different. He wants us to prosper in our lives. We just need to find out what He wants us to do and then strive to meet that goal in life.
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