The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/18/06
I really like the promise in the last paragraph! A few little edits here and there for missed words and other minor corrections, but this is a very pleasant story, with a realistic voice and a compelling character.
05/18/06
Liked the story. Tense change in the 4th para. threw me a little. Sounds like it could be a longer story. Good work.
05/19/06
Nice imagery in the first half of the story. A few grammatical and spelling changes needed, but overall a very thoughtful and encouraging story.
This is pretty good. It could use a little tweeking, but overall it's a keeper.
05/22/06
I liked the premise, the storyline and the message of hope and prosperity. Just a little tweaking and tightening and a keener eye on spelling, grammar, etc. and it's good to go! Really nice job!
I like the story and the imagery. As others have said, it could have used a little tightening. Good job.
05/22/06
You are a master at character development! I love how easy it is to get to know your characters and to really feel like we're in the situation with them. Great job!
05/23/06
Strong characterization, message right on target, good job!
05/23/06
You have a knack for pulling your reader right into the midst of the action. This has such a nice flow to the narration. God bless your writing!
Sweet ending with lots of hope.
Cute, engaging story. I agree with Anita. You are FULL of people, characters, the way they interact, the rhythm and flow of communication. Have you ever tried your hand at drama?