The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Good stuff. I could relate to that.
05/12/06
Fairly well written, the theme seemed to shift a little, I think tying some things together (from the beginning) would help.
05/13/06
Nice story. My only recommendation is less telling and more showing. I'd really love to experience more of this. Use my senses and show me what Hope felt and saw and tasted and smelled. Really maximize your great story!