The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/11/06
Writing in rhyming couplets is difficult at best. A stanza break, and work on prosody will go a long way to making your poem work. Thanks for posting.
05/11/06
It might help your phrasing of the rhymes if you break them into sections. It tends to become a smoother read and will help the reader feel the pace better.

I did like this one line though…despite it seeming a little cliché, I don’t know of any better way of wording it:

Darkness would prevail if not for the Son,
His glory shining, the King has won.
You hit the nail on the head. By lifting our eyes to Jesus, we will discovere the true source of hope and comfort. Great job!