Shadows of uncertainty and confusion surrounded my vision upon hearing that Mother was taken to the emergency room. But when I closed my eyes in silent supplication, I beheld The Light.
“I will not leave you, nor forsake you, precious child.”
The longer I gazed upon the glory of His power, the stronger I felt His Spirit reviving mine. Awestruck, I stood still, whispering, “You are God! You are God! Be exalted!”
When I came back to my senses, I shut the door of my office and secured a spot where I could kneel down and pray. Warring against my worries, I took ahold of God’s throne and pleaded in faith. Tears flowed effortlessly down my face, though somehow I felt that they weren’t really mine. They belonged to my mom. I had only wept in her behalf.
She had been battling with colon cancer for almost a year now. I remembered the last time we rushed her to the hospital, exactly a week after my graduation. My brothers thought she would not make it.
I held her hand as I stood beside her bed that night. She was asleep, but I perceived signals of unrest through her face.
“Fear not…Fear not…”
The Word came forth like lightning in the midst of a dark storm. I could almost hear the sound of His voice. How He strengthened me at the point of need!
A warm sensation glowed underneath my palm as I prayed for my mom. Suddenly, her countenance changed. She didn’t move her lips but the radiance on her face spoke volumes to me.
The following day, a devastating news arrived. The doctor said that Mother might only have a few more months to be with us.
Words struggled to escape my mouth, but I felt so powerless to even sigh. I left the hospital and drove to a beach nearby. I knew I needed to be all by myself.
I sat steadily upon a solid rock, overlooking the peaceful waters that reflected the hues of twilight. The cool breeze of the sea found its way into my chest, creating a calming effect. Alone with God, and away from all distractions, I started to hear myself.
“I’m only beginning to live…Mother hasn’t even tasted the fruit of her labors yet. She has sacrificed a lot to send me to College. But now… Oh, how can I make stay?!”
I looked above and searched the sky for some answers. But Heaven hushed me with more perplexing thoughts:
“Why does the sun begin to hide its face when it wants to paint the firmament with its vibrant rays?...How could the stars befriend the dark and still smile in the middle of the night?...”
Perhaps some difficulties are better left unresolved; some questions are better left hanging, in order that I may appreciate the mysterious ways of, and learn to trust, the One who said, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”
The tender voice of the Master birthed a melody in my heart – sweet, lovely, breathing life into my innermost part.
The phone rang again. I stood from prayer as if to say, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”
It was my brother. His voice was low and sad, somewhat trembling…
“Hello….Anthony…It’s about Mom…”
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