The Official Writing Challenge
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04/13/06
Thanks for sharing your story. The dad, aside from being an atheist, was just like my dad in the application/money thing. :) I liked the story line, but I felt it needed a little more conflict...
Good message, thanks for sharing!
04/13/06
I wonder if you could emphasize the contrast between the fleeting fulfillment of the graduation ceremony and the longer fulfillment of the missions trip by shortening the first part of this story and expanding on the trip. The last paragraph left me wanting more. A great main character and a realistic look at family conflict. Good job!
04/13/06
Realistic dialogue here. One small comment, you introduced Frank rather abruptly - unless i missed something. GOod story but I agree with Jan's comment
04/15/06
THe fulfillment of a job well done in the Mission Field was rather "blah"; it needed more "oomph" or impact to show how Really Fulfilling this project was. The excitement was left out...thus the reader felt let down. Just my humble opinion; otherwise, nicely done.