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This week was not a really good week on the God and me scale. My schedule was full of things. Every day my calendar had several items that simply had to be done. I have 2 children who are both involved in extra activities, I am a girl scout leader, I am on my church council, I am active in the PTA, I work for my husband’s business, you get the picture. I always thought doing all of these things was my way of giving to my family and to God. This week made me see things a little differently.
I woke up on Monday morning tired, but ready to get to all the events of the day. It was valentine’s day and there were school parties to help with and errands that needed to be run for work. After driving my kids to school and helping them in with the valentine boxes that we had worked on for hours the day before, I began running errands. A few hours later, I stopped home for a quick bite of lunch and played solitaire on my computer while I made some phone calls. Running back to school, I helped with the valentines parties, went to an after school orthodontist appointment, grabbed some takeout dinner, brought my daughter to basketball practice, helped with homework, and got everyone ready for bed. Lastly, I sat again at my computer, this time playing solitaire while I checked my email.
I could give you the details of the rest of the week, but I think that you get the picture. Every day it was pretty much the same story. I would run like crazy and then to give myself a break I would play solitaire on the computer. I believe that everyone needs his or her activity to unwind and solitaire is mine. I could spend hours at my computer playing various versions of the simple card game. I love the game, the quiet of playing alone and the competitiveness of trying to win. When I am especially stressed, the break form reality is much appreciated.
On Friday, after the errands had been run and I was playing solitaire again before the next round of activities, it hit me. I was being totally selfish.
I was so busy running doing what I thought God wanted that I forgot what God asked of me. I forgot to be still and know that God is God. To know that life is not about my busy schedule or me. Whenever I did have time to stop and be with God, I was stopping instead to do something I enjoyed - alone.
I am not saying that you should quit doing things that you enjoy, or that you should never be busy. Life just doesn’t work that way and it really would not be fun if it did. But acting alone is being selfish and it is not the relationship God wants with us. When we forget to do everything that we do with God, we are missing out on the beautiful opportunities to be closer to Him.
This week is looking to be just as busy as the last, but I have a feeling that things will feel much different. I plan to start every day remembering to be still and know that God is God. I also have a feeling that playing solitaire with God will be much more fun than playing alone.
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