The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/13/06
I really liked this re-telling of Simeon's story! Very atmospheric and compelling. This is just a teensy suggestion: in the 4th paragraph, consider changing "The Holy Spirit was upon him" to "The Holy Spirit came upon him" (or "descended," or some such verb) to give the action more immediacy. Nice details gave this a realistic feel. Bravo!
04/13/06
Lovely writing. Just my own opinion - I would have paraphrased the speeches to make them fit better, rather than quoting them directly. And I would have liked a little more attention given to the dawning of the realisation that HERE was the Messiah.
04/13/06
Very nicely done. Good description and feeling.
04/14/06
Nice retelling of a familiar story. I sometimes wonder just how Simeon really felt - you sort of captured some of that.
Nicely written. Good job.
04/18/06
This is one of my favorite passages in the bible. Simeon's wait for the messiah so he can finally die is so uplifting, joyous and sad all at once. I loved your telling of it. The only nit-picking I have with it, is that I would have loved to seen more description of Simeon recognizing this child as God. To me, the whole beauty of this story is that Simeon was one of the rare men who was so close to God that he was able to recognize him when he finally came face to face with him. You did do a good job of getting that point across, and the emotion of Simeon finally arriving at his consolation was excellent.
Nice job! Thank you.
04/20/06
Mary's "little lamb" - how innocent she felt it and how deeply Simeon knew it - that was an extremely good choice of phrase.

Great writing! Well done.