The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
03/13/06
Nice job. This is oh-so-true of so many young-girls-turned-women. We are sold a story, a fairy tale, but life is not.

A great job portraying the disenchantment then realization that our true knight-in-shining-armor is our Lord.

My favorite part - "But, she would try her best.
She would be herself." So simple, yet so profound.
Good job!
Wow. This is great. I liked the opening sentence. I believe yo uwere going for a double meaning with that opening. Great job!
03/15/06
The paragraph that begins "She knew she was broken..." is particularly well-written.

The last sentence was a bit off-putting "...the good with the not so..." I think it would be less abrupt if you changed it to "...with the not so good."

I enjoyed a glimpse into this character's soul.