She thought she had lost it.
The key to the lock on her diary. The one she had when she was fifteen. Buried beneath a pile of letters, photos and newspaper cut outs…all carrying memories, all hidden away in a shoebox at the back of a cupboard. Underneath it all, was the key.
She lifted the diary out of it’s box, now tattered and shabby with age. She turned the key and unlocked the pages. Pages filled with the angst and trauma, trials and tears, crushes and heartache of a fifteen year old girl.
Reading through, it was like glimpsing the life of somebody else. How young she was. How she wished her biggest trial now was not having a new outfit to wear to the school social.
She once thought ‘life’ meant good things happening, fun things to look forward to. Love and laughter. Happily ever after...all that.
She now knew that life was not a guarantee for ‘good’. It was about accepting and learning through all that life can throw at us. The good and the not so.
Sometimes she wanted to run.
Sometimes her heart hurt so much.
She had hurt people. People she loved and cared for. That’s the other thing…love. Who knew it could be so difficult? Precious, yes. Life giving, yes. But oh, how it had to be worked on. Not neglected. Not given up on.
In her diary she had dreamed of her prince. He was perfect. As was she. They would ride off into the sunset and live their perfect life. In love, and together.
Years later, she smiled at that thought.
Maybe that was God’s original plan but things had not turned out that way.
She knew she was broken. She could not look to her knight-in-shining-armor to save her. She could look to her precious Father. Her Father who sent His Son to save her.
As she closed the diary, turning the key on the lock. She thanked God for His grace, for His mercy.
She could not be that perfect person.
She would hurt others.
But, she would try her best.
She would be herself.
Placing the shoebox back in the cupboard, she determined to keep moving forward in this journey called life.
Learning, growing, loving.
Taking the good…with the not so.
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