"Just look what you bought me for Christmas",she said,
As she tossed all the packages down on the bed
And he stood there like stone with a heart full of dread
And he didn't see "sugar plums" dance in his head--
He picked up the heap and he felt pretty woosie,
"If I were a drinker," he thought, "I'd get boozie!"
But somehow he hung onto his self control
And out of the door and out into the snow,
Went all of the packages in a big lump
It looked like the start of a new city dump!
And cry as she did,-- he stood strong and fast,
The boss of the family to the very last!
And when dark descended, and evening arrived,
(the whole thing was over by seven past five),
She took to her quarters alone as could be
And left him a pillow and blanket, you see.
Then the tinkling of bells and the clatter of hooves
Awakened her nightmares as they scraped o'er the rooves
And morning came quickly and down in the hall
Was the prettiest Christmas that she ever saw!
She ran for her loved one and shook him awake
And together they went to the hall to partake
Of a large pile of gifts there for her and for him,
Imagine how anxious they were to begin!
But now, she lamented and now she was haunted
For she had just bought all the things she had wanted.
And never a thing had she bought for her spouse
And he'd thrown all her packages out of the house!
she looked at the dozens of beautiful bows
Ang there on the notes one said Jane, one said Joe
And over and over for Joe, and then Jane
She tried to think how there was someone to blame-
And they opened the gifts, and low and behold,
There were all the fine things he'd thrown out in the snow!
And wonder of wonders he wasn't so sad
For he'd got all the things he had wanted so bad.
And now to this day she just wonders and guesses-
But he knows that he cleaned up the world' greatest messes
For unfortunately, he had just stored on the shelf
Lots of things that he'd wanted and bought for himself!
So, deep in the night when she was asleep,
He, into the living room closet did creep-
And got out new golf club, saw, sander and vice,
And everything he had asked for more than twice,
And after the wrapping and ribbons were don
He sneaked to the neighbors, who were in on the fun
And they wrapped up her things that they took from the snow
And filled up the stockings and made the tree glow.
And never a question has been asked of that day-
When all of her packages got thrown away
But somehow she knows that something was done
To turn her first Christmas with him into fun!
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