The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 801 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
03/07/06
I liked this article, thank you for writing it, good work.
03/08/06
Very nice! Th ending brought it all together so nicely.
03/08/06
You know...This sci-fi approach is cool, but I can't say I understand what's happening. I wonder if giving the reader more information might help? I think you're on to something because I reread it 3X's trying to understand. Each time I caught something else, but really couldn't put it all together. Keep at it.
Enjoyed the brief trek to the overlook and end comment link to God. Might have expanded a bit more on how glorious it was with some more descriptive sentences.
03/10/06
One of the favorite things our family does together is hike, usually to overlooks. I could empathize with the feelings expressed by your main character both during the hike and upon reaching the summit.

The description of the mountain meadow in your third paragraph seemed a bit wordy after the varied sentence length of the previous two paragraphs. Could the description be in its own paragraph or put into at least one more sentence of shorter length to give variety?

What a wonderful concluding paragraph! Good message!
03/11/06
Sorry. I left the wrong critique.