Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Enter (02/27/06)

TITLE: Just a Tiny Glimpse of Heaven
By Susan Gurney
02/27/06


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Sweat trickled down my back as I trudged up the winding path. I looked up at the others ahead on the switch-backing trail. Were they huffing and puffing like me? Did their feet hurt as much as mine? If so, it didn’t seem to be slowing them down. Two of the guys were even taking great delight in cutting straight up the densely wooded mountainside to shorten the distance between the switchbacks, even though it meant an even steeper climb for them. How much farther until we get there? --And just what is going to be “there”, when we arrive “there?” “Not much farther,” assured our leader, Pastor Ben. “Just wait and see—it will be worth the climb!”

I got hotter…and more tired by the minute. I quit looking up ahead and now only stared down at my feet to keep them from stumbling. “OK, girl,” I mentally prodded myself, “you need to take one step at a time--and don’t stop. One step; two steps; three steps, four… Left foot, right foot; left foot, right…” More sweat ran down my face and neck and smeared my glasses. --And there were flies—huge flies!—which feasted on my neck and arms. Horse flies or deer flies—whatever they were, they were aptly named. Seemed like they were at least as big as horses! --Now how much farther did he say it would be? I noticed that the others had also slowed down and seemed more labored in their breathing.

A cheer suddenly rang out. We picked up the pace. The end was within sight! I looked up and out as the path suddenly broke out from under the dark shadow of the trees. What a sight my eyes beheld! We had entered a high mountain meadow overlooking lower tree-covered mountains split by a steep valley containing a tiny winding ribbon of water. Above us and across the valley below were higher mountains with their own grassy meadows rimmed with high rocks and dotted with patches of snow. We all collapsed on the ground and drank in the sun-washed beauty around us. As we drank deeply from our canteens of water and nibbled on snacks, some sighed in awe or talked amongst themselves in hushed tones as if we were in a great cathedral. Pastor Ben chuckled and pointed all around, “Now wasn’t that worth the climb?” We nodded in agreement. He continued, “This is what I picture heaven being like: resting forever in a sunny mountain meadow with good company and an incredible view!”

I think back on that earthly glimpse of heaven from time to time, especially when the path gets steep and the way is hard. How precious the hope that one day I will stumble out into the sunshine of the mountain meadow the Son has prepared for me, and there I will hear him say, “Enter in, dear child—enter in to your eternal rest!”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 640 times
Member Comments
Member Date
c clemons03/07/06
I liked this article, thank you for writing it, good work.
terri tiffany03/08/06
Very nice! Th ending brought it all together so nicely.
Allen Clupny03/08/06
You know...This sci-fi approach is cool, but I can't say I understand what's happening. I wonder if giving the reader more information might help? I think you're on to something because I reread it 3X's trying to understand. Each time I caught something else, but really couldn't put it all together. Keep at it.
Teresa Hollums03/10/06
Enjoyed the brief trek to the overlook and end comment link to God. Might have expanded a bit more on how glorious it was with some more descriptive sentences.
Sandra Petersen 03/10/06
One of the favorite things our family does together is hike, usually to overlooks. I could empathize with the feelings expressed by your main character both during the hike and upon reaching the summit.

The description of the mountain meadow in your third paragraph seemed a bit wordy after the varied sentence length of the previous two paragraphs. Could the description be in its own paragraph or put into at least one more sentence of shorter length to give variety?

What a wonderful concluding paragraph! Good message!
Allen Clupny03/11/06
Sorry. I left the wrong critique.