The Official Writing Challenge
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02/27/06
Cute. Loved the jellybeans! Exceptionally creative writing.
This is a really cute and creative idea. It reminded me of the movie "Castaway" where Tom Hanks talks to the volleyball. There were quite a few typos, but the writing itself was good. As I read, I wondered if he was going to get mad and eat one of his companions! hehe
02/27/06
That was absolutely wonderful! Very creative! Who ever knew jellybeans could be so wise? I'll have to take another look the next time I run across a few...hehe.
02/28/06
Wow...just wow. This one takes the "creativity" prize, no doubt about it. Send it off to Jelly Bellies, see what they think. Truly awesome.
03/01/06
This was very clever from the title to the ending! I have to admit, though, that if I were stranded on a rubber raft in the middle of nowhere waiting to die, I would eat the jellybeans one at a time!
Most of your typos involved missing punctuation in the quotations and 'Suspicious' was supposed to be 'suspicions.' I also had a hard time understanding the last statement Blue made, "He has your back."
I was intrigued that you tried to give each jellybean a personality: Blue, calm; Red, impulsive tendency to temper; Yellow, urging Red to be nice. Good message! Good work!
Wonderfully done...message and all! Good job.
This is one of my favorite stroies this week .It's one that you can't simply forget. You did a fabulous job of writing, so creative and a great messege. Awsome
03/03/06
GREAT JOB!! I love your odd sense of humor! Who cares about a few typo's!! This was masterfully written!
Very clever and very well written. Good job.
03/03/06
Dog-goneit! Why didn't I think of talking jellybeans!
One of the best I've read this week. Glad its in the intermediate challenge and not the advanced. I still may have a chance!

Originality is what makes a writer want to be read.

Great Job!

03/05/06
Eyeing the tropical flavored jellybeans sitting by the computer...'ohgads, now how am I gonna ever eat them again?'

This is FANTASTIC!
03/05/06
Very cute - well done! :)
Thank you for this bit of fun. I like that the reaction of others is not the right measure. You did well giving the jellybeans realistic(?) movements and personalities, if that is possible. lol.

I, too, found that ending a bit out of touch with the rest of the story. The 'He's got your back' line is just not in character for any of the jellybeans as you created them. It just feels wrong. If you changed it to something like "He is watching out for you" or "He will reward you accordingly" or something like that, it would work better.

Thank you for this fun writing.