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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Selfishness (02/14/05)
The couple sat side by side on the couch looking over the guest list for the upcoming wedding. Every once in a while the groom-to-be would press his forehead lovingly against his fiance’s. She would smile and keep laying out her plans, most of which might have to be adjusted as the months crawl by until the big day.

My little sister and Dan were destined for each other. Everyone knew it to be true the moment they met. I loved Lindsey, my sister, and was very happy for her. Dan fit right in with our brothers. He was fun and considerate and most of all, he would willingly lay down his life for Lindsey.

I was enjoying watching the live love story take place before my very eyes until the day came when a dear friend of mine called my father to ask me out. Manny we called him, who’s name was really Emmanuel, was a young man in our church that I had loved for some time without knowing how much longer he had his eye on me. However, he had past struggles where he fell far from the Lord–struggles that my father knew about. I also knew, but had witnessed his confession and renewal in the Lord.

Daddy promised to talk with him, but did not give him the permission to see me. I was crushed, kept my mouth shut, but also inwardly bitter. I was not surprised when it took, what seemed forever, for Daddy to get around to talking with Manny. Even when he did, nothing changed with his decision. There it was settled–for Daddy at least.

All attention was back on the happy couple and the wedding that was rapidly approaching. “What about me?” I wanted to cry out. Even if I did say something, who would listen? To them, my situation was settled and there were more important things to consider. It was not, however, settled for me and perhaps never will be.

For weeks I pouted until the verse in Philippians 4:11(KJV) came to mind that told me that “in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” The verse applied to so much in my life, but at that moment it was showing me in black and white how self-centered I was acting.

Lindsey’s wedding was more important. She found her man while I was still looking. This was something both of us dreamed...and I was happy for her. I also remembered what my highschool teacher told me about how to have real joy. “Anna,” he said, “spell joy.”

I knew what he wanted me to say: “Jesus first. Others second. Yourself last.” To the
ones that may share my pain, selfishness comes in many forms. He has many disguises. To recognize him listen to what you are saying. Is it “I” all the time, or “others”?
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Cynthia Zirkwitz
02/21/05
I don't see 'selfishness' here so much as I see disappointment. And maybe resentment and hurt ("It was not, however, settled for me and perhaps never will be.") Nice opening and well constructed.
donna robinson
02/24/05
I gathered from the fact the woman was looking for her father's permission, this was set in olden times. I kept expecting her to be reminesing and tell us how it changed for the good or bad? I think you have another story in this!