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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Help (02/20/06)

TITLE: With friends like these...
By Helen Paynter
02/21/06


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Plump, plumper, plumpest.
Three fat friends with time on their hands, oil on their beards, and a friend in need.
Eliphaz.
Bildad.
Zophar.

Rich, richer, richest.
Eliphaz, man of a thousand camels.
Bildad, with seven hundred donkeys.
Zophar, owns three thousand sheep.

-Poor Job.
-Yes, poor Job.
-Poor, poor man.

-We should go and visit him.
-Yes, take him some grapes.
-Cheer him up.

-Hello, dear friend.
-We’ve come to help.
-You do look dreadful.

-All of your children? Poor man.
-And all your herds? Dear me.
-And those boils – don’t scratch!

-We’ll just sit here with you, dear fellow.
-Show our solidarity.
-Won’t say a word.

Smug, smugger, smuggest.
A triangle of platitudes.
Umpires in a fantasy of celestial tit-for-tat.

-Word to the wise, Job.
-Turn back to God.
-You’ll find him merciful.

-His hand of punishment is on you, old man.
-Search yourself and find your sin.
-It must be your own fault.

-Don’t try to pull the wool over our eyes.
-You can’t fool God.
-It’s pretty good of us to be seen with you, all things considered.

-Don’t be obstinate, there’s a good chap.
-It’s a universal law. The wicked are punished, the righteous prosper.
-Do you think you are being disciplined for piety?!

-That’s it! We’ve done our best.
-We’re running out of patience...
-We’re fed up of your self-righteous attitude.

“Eliphaz.
Bildad.
Zophar.
Enough!”

Flat, flatter, flattest.
Three fat men felled like logs.
Three fine beards unheeded in the dust.

“Enough of your fools’ gold. Your words are naive, and your juvenile logic has misrepresented me. Now, ask Job to intercede for you, and I will forgive you.”

Humble, humbler, humblest.


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This article has been read 989 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 02/27/06
I LOVE this! *Standing up and applauding madly* Such creativity and word-smithery!
Melanie Kerr 02/27/06
Excellent! I loved it from start to finish! I loved the sets of the three comparative words interspersed throughout the poem. I could picture the three "comforters" so clearly. The end was a stroke of genius. The only thing wrong with it - I didn't write it!
Lynda Schultz 02/28/06
What can I say that hasn't already been said? Good stuff.
c clemons03/01/06
Enjoyed this, only I must say that I feel initially the three friends did come to "help." It's a good friend that will just sit with you for seven days and seven nights.
Joy Mounce03/07/06
Wow! What a GREAT piece! Can't wait to read more of your work.
James McClellan03/10/06
This is a great poem. Very original and fresh idea. Thank you for the read.
Beth Muehlhausen04/17/06
Creativity - A+!

I felt bounced along with your words - sort of got bruised/shocked/wakened up by the end. Very effective. :-)

Jessica Schmit05/15/06
This was extremely creative. I think it would make a great song. I could hear a little melody float in my head as I read this. Marvelous writing( as always). Great job!
Virginia Gorg05/27/06
This is really good. "Flat, flatter, flattest." When God speaks, we better listen. You have a good way with words.
Rev. Toni Brown05/27/06
Wonderful!
Tim Pickl02/22/08
You are a master wordsmith! I can see this in a Christian children's book...or acted out in a skit in church!


   
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