The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/27/06
There were some nice touches like "the row of empty chairs that divided the devoted from the disgusted." As the reader I would have liked a few more terms of reference - was it a pastor of a church confessing his/her sin? In which case the call for the people at the back to follow made sense. Your description of people's responses was good.
02/28/06
I've been to that place before....
Very well written.
02/28/06
Yes, a little more detail would have been good to help us with the context. This is a personal story written in first person but 5 out of your 7 paragraphs begin with "I". Might help to vary that a little. Also it should be "who" rather than "whom". Good commentary on a needed subject.
03/01/06
The writing was good but the content left me wondering the setting. Not knowing what was shared or if the speaker shared the fact that he was now born again with the crowd is important. I was left neither feeling compassion or understanding for the character.
I was browsing and found this old challenge. As someone who knows the story behind the story, I found this very powerful. Well done.