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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: End (02/13/06)

TITLE: A Lasting Wish
By Sandra Snowden
02/19/06


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A Lasting Wish

The life support machine was making little beeps signaling that life was still in the small frail, motionless body that it was connected to. Beep, beep, beep accompanied by soft groans were the only signs of life in the room.

“I wonder if they can hear me? I can see and hear them. Why are they crying?” wondered the frail body.

Suddenly a long beep interrupted the thoughts and a jolt of fear momentarily overtook the frail motionless body.

“Give me back my bike or I’m going to tell on you,” flashed through. “Oh my goodness I was 6 years old when that happened.

“You are now officially a boy scout for life,” rang out so loud as if it was coming from the actual ceremony.

“She’s the prettiest bride I’ve ever seen. The other girls pale in comparison,” as the thoughts continue to roll on and on.

Scene after scene of life invaded my mind but my thoughts were suddenly interrupted by what was happening, people rushing around the room. I could still hear them but they couldn’t hear me.

“I’m sorry, Dad that I didn’t listen to you,” came from someone in the room. “I was thinking about my life, my bike, my boy scout ceremony and you and mom’s wedding. I don’t know why but I slipped out of me and went somewhere.”

The beep, beep, beep softly consumed the room again, but this time sounds of joy were heard.

“He’s back. He’s breathing. He’s going to make it. He will live,” rang out like a heavenly chorus.

“All I could think of was I told them about Jesus and what a wonderful Savior he is. I asked them to accept my Jesus because He would make all the difference in their lives. I hope its not too late,” remembered the frail body. “Wait a minute! I feel the presence of my son like never before. I hope he’s okay because I’m going to a better place. There he is walking down that long corridor. Where is he going? I want to see him before he leaves.”

The son approaches and says; “Dad, I hear it’s awesome up there with God. They say you were right there is love and peace everywhere. That place is a wonderful beginning for all who accepted Jesus Christ as Savior.“

The frail man opened his eyes for the first time in days and asked, “Where is my son?”


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Member Comments
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Jan Ackerson 02/22/06
This one confused me a bit--the tense switches back and forth, and for a while I wasn't even sure who was in the bed. You might want to tighten this up a bit, so that your wonderful message of hope and eternal life shines through more clearly. Great start!